You've planned and are executing a major project together. This is incredibly important. There is so much that you can learn from your wedding planning, if you just take a second off from worrying about the wedding and figure out what really matters in your lives and in your coming marriage.
What, besides getting seating charts done, your bridal clothes organized, your honeymoon plan and tulle bags of chocolate almonds tied off did you figure out while you were planning your wedding?
- How to get things done: You piled up a mountain of tasks and you worked your way through them, one by one, or higgely-piggely... but you got there.
- How to work things out: Neither one of you (if you were paying attention) always got your way while planning your wedding. You learned, probably sometimes painfully, how to compromise and be considerate of your beloved's needs. These skills are urgently needed in a marriage. And now you have them!
- What relationship skills you might want to work on: We live in this weird perfectionistic world. The fact is most of us are fairly flawed. We're also very different from our partners. In addition we each have a certain set of skills and qualities. Say what you want, love doesn't solve all problems. Sometimes you just have to do the work. If you aren't making any progress without the directions, it helps to stop and ask for assistance along the journey. That doesn't make you weak; it just gives you a better sense that you might get where you might want to go. (Sometimes it helps you adjust your destination a little and make it all a lot easier on yourself!
- How to celebrate when you get things right (or even mostly right!): One of the best parts about the wedding, particularly if you remembered to put sleep on your list, is that you got to celebrate your incredible relationship and your wonderful accomplishment.
You did it. If you can plan a wedding, you can use those same skills to plan and improve your marriage. If you worked that hard for what was to a large degree a party, imagine what you can do when it really matters - when it's your life!